so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You made out with two different species that night
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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