Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
