That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
