im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize