so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
