Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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