dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i dont even know how to be here
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
