Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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