i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize