Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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