Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
