we're blogging at a bar
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
