We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
