Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
