How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
