one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
love makes seman taste better
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
