I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
