people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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