Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
