why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
