if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
