i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
