Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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