I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i love accidental penises.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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