How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
