i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize