I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
This is my gift to your gina
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
