I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
