i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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