You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
