Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
