Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
not ubering you a puppy
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
