Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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