She is in my trunk
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
