so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sorry about my life...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize