I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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