Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
is wine microwaveable?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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