hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We are two peas in an std pod
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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