Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Randomize
