Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
