That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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