My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
