you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
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