i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
