you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
