I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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