Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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