it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
farters have to be the big spoon...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
