i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
NoShamevember. You game?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize