Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
