I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
