did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
