i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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