Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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