normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
