Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
