I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
