hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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