New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
