Kiss
Puke
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
