nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
