she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
