No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
