I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
