I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
