I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
