haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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