It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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