don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
